Baby Showers

Baby Shower Etiquette:

Who gives a baby shower?

Traditionally a close friend, who is not a relative of the mother-to-be, is the baby shower giver. Now however it is becoming acceptable for a relative to throw a baby shower too. It is not appropriate for the mother-to-be to throw her own shower.

Is it okay to have more than 1 shower for the same baby?

Yes, as long as the guest list is different. For instance, a baby shower may be thrown for the mom-to-be at work by coworkers, another at church and one with her neighborhood friends and family. However, if a guest list is planned appropriately, this overlap doesn't necessarily have to occur. If a guest is to be invited to more than one baby shower, they should be told that they are not expected to give gifts at each shower.

Can I have a baby shower for a second, third, etc. child?

Traditionally, the answer was no - only with the first. That no longer applies. You may have a baby shower for each child, especially if changing from boy to girl or vice-versa. After the first couple of babies, you may want to consider having a theme shower; such as a safety shower, a quilting, a diaper and baby food shower, or a pampered mom shower.

How much money should I spend on a baby shower gift?

This depends on what your budget is and what your relationship is with the mom-to-be. You shouldn't put yourself in the poorhouse over any baby shower gift as there are plenty of creative ideas if your budget is low. Average baby shower gift cost runs anywhere from $10.00 to $50.00. If you are just a casual acquaintance from work you would be on the lower side, a rich close relative would be on the higher side. I have often seen guests pool together to buy something nicer that the mom-to-be needs like a crib, swing, carseat, etc. Be sure you consult the guest of honor on these however, as moms can be pretty particular about what they want for their brand new baby.

What sort of gifts are appropriate for the games?

There are lots of cute reward ideas for baby shower games. You need to decide what your party budget for games is and then shop accordingly. Lotions, keychains, picture frames, stationary, lip gloss, candles, are all appropriate for baby showers. If you want to spend more, you can prepare little gift baskets. If you are having a team game, you don't need to be so elaborate. You can have lollipops, award certificates, ring pops, or some other little treat.
Some people feel that it is appropriate that all award gifts given at a baby shower are only given as a token and are then turned over to the guest of honor. This is purely up to the individual who recieves the gift and should not be expected.

Should I invite a friend who has recently lost their child or is infertile?

This, of course, is a matter of concern and needs to be handled very carefully so as not to increase suffering. Some people are fine attending a baby shower inspite of their circumstances, and others would feel awkward or hurt watching others celebrate what they are missing in their lives. You should not assume that you know how they would feel. This is very touchy because many people feel that infertility is a private issue and do not want to talk about it. If you know this is the case, send the invitation for the baby shower and let the individual decide on their own whether or not to attend. If the individual's grief is obvious or you feel that even receiving an invitation might be painful, you should find an opportunity, in private, to talk with them and ask them if they would feel comfortable attending a baby shower. You want it to be in person in order to better guage their reaction and to add to the sincerity of your concern for them. You want to be very careful not to overdo your sympathy, however, as many do not want to be made to feel pitied and helpless. Not inviting an individual to a baby shower without consulting with them leads to misunderstandings and hurt feelings. Good luck with all your baby shower plans!